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Thursday, April 19, 2012

A Pack of Weirdos


This is a transcription of an actual Facebook conversation between me, my Step-mom, my little sister and my Dad (using my step-mom's Facebook account instead of his own).  They all live in another state.
Other than changing the names, and removing one stray comment, I have not altered the conversation in any way.  Honestly, I couldn’t make up something this nutty.
This is why I love my family.
-------------------- * ~ * --------------------
Step-mom:  Remember the sick deer last winter that laid under our picnic table? I found her body today :(
Me:  Aw dang. :-(
Little Sis:  Where was it?
Stepmom:  Just over the hill in the back yard. Bones looked like they were laid on a hairy mat, skull about 6' away. :(
Little Sis:  Thanks for the description because my next question was what did it look like :) But that's pretty sad, sorry for your loss, I know how much you liked her, you should make (Little Bro) bury it or something
Step-mom:  It would probably end up next to the coon, which by the way, I feel lucky not to have stumbled upon.
Me:  Or add the skull to your collection. :-)
Step-mom:  Do you want it?
Me:  Me? If it could be mailed to me, then heck yeah!
Step-mom:  Should I bleach it first? Do you also want mouse bones?
Little Sis:  Ok, this is getting weird guys...
Step-mom:  I'll also send you the bear skull. Wish I would have given it to you when you were here.
Little Sis:  Why do we have a bear skull?
Step-mom:  Ask Robin. It's above the TV in the living room.
Little Sis:  Robin, I feel like I don't want to know this...but why do we have a bear skull in our living room? More importantly, why have I never noticed it before?
Step-mom: My guess is that they have always just been there. I remember moving from our house in California with a box that said "skulls and stuff".
Dad (on Step-mom FB Account):  This is Dad-doesn't everyone have a bear skull?
Dad:  Robin-this is Dad again-she cant mail you the bear skull because then the mountain goat skull would get lonely.
Dad:  Robin=me again-I told her she can't send you the bear skull until its part of my estate.
Me:  Seriously, Dad? No bear skull? I got all excited for a minute. Sis, years ago when I was a kid I found a young dead black bear up at HiHium (a fishing camp in British Columbia). It was mostly decomposed, but I drug the head and paws back to camp. The caretakers gave me a camp stove and an old pot and I boiled the last of the flesh off. Dad got the skull, I don't know where all the claws went. I have a thing for animal bones and skulls, always have. And yes, I would love a mouse skeleton. ANYTHING like that. As for the deer skull, if it is clean (not stinky) then no, don't bleach it.

And Dad - will me the dang bear skull, please? :-)
Step-mom's Sister:  Good read guys :)
Little Sis:  I've learned a lot about my family through this...Dad is way too protective of his bear skulls, Robin likes skeletons, and my parents still can't use their own Facebook accounts right...
Me:  ‎Sis, you're just now figuring out that your family is a pack o' weirdoes? Really??? I mean, c'mon... Karl (my brother, who lives near them). 'Nuff said. ;-)
Dad: Careful about who is calling who weird - Dad

14 comments:

  1. I love it! You should see all my skulls! I didn't know you liked skulls and bones and things?? Whoo hoo

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    Replies
    1. Of course I do; they are the armature, they give things their shape and structure, and they are fascinating to me. :-)

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  2. And I thought my family was bad. I dont like mice.

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  3. Skulls make great photo props...everyone should have a few.

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    Replies
    1. If my dad ponies up that bear skull, I will. :-)

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  4. ROFL LMAO! We have a bear skull, er rather Mom has a bear skull... I think. Dang, now I need to make sure it's in the will. This would be a perfectly normal conversation in my family.

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  5. That was hilarious!!! I come from a pack of weirdos too, in their own right. Every holiday we tell the most embarrassing stories of each other. Like the time I had to chase the dog around with a paper towel because she had something hanging from her backside (a sock I think, she loved to eat random socks) while the neighbors looked on and my family was watching me from the front window...

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    Replies
    1. Those kinds of memories are the best, because you get to laugh together over and over again!

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  6. I love your family. What fun you must have when you all get together. Gerry

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes, Gerry! Sadly, this branch of my family lives in Iowa and I am in WA State; we've only all gotten together physically once. We rely on Facebook, mainly, but that doesn't mean we aren't close. :-)

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  7. I am laughing so hard there are tears running down my cheeks! LOVE your family! Will they adopt me?

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